Many students who are stressed out right now because of final exams were grateful for this underwater experience because drowning is a refreshing break from all the studying.

 

This was also a rare treat because typically Clark only experiences moisture when it rains and seeps through the roof.

 

During spirit week, rain haters, also known as rain haters, looked for ways to avoid the “C” rather than respecting it. The haters had a few plans to avoid the flood, but thanks to a dedicated Charger Chant reporter who had nothing better to do, they had to get over it.

 

The rain haters’ first plan for evading the flooded halls was to seek shelter in the lead-lined radiation-proof portables outside. The portables were still standing after the December 2012 Apocalypse, so they’re even giant asteroid collision proof. So they’re probably waterproof too.

 

It was the perfect plan; after all, they aren’t being used anymore right? Well, actually, a Charger Chant reporter determined that the portables are currently being used as a secret hideout for all the lost textbooks. The reporter camped outside school one night to stake out the elusive textbooks, and he discovered them when a chemistry book had to slip outside quickly to urinate.

 

Mission accomplished reporter kid, raining on the rain haters’ parade. Unfortunately, though, the textbooks, with animal-like instincts, anticipated the great flood ahead of time and two-by-two escaped to the great ark (or portables or whatever) first, so the students could not escape the flood of “C”water and flood of fine slips.

 

Another plan to avoid the rain involved digging trenches in the main hall like in World War I, but students would actually have to hold their breath while they dig because the hall itself was already underwater.

 

While it’s always a good idea to hold one’s breath while walking through the hall (Axe body spray), it is absolutely necessary to not breathe when underwater, and it’s pretty hard to do that when digging. Luckily, another Charger Chant representative ratted out the trench diggers. You’re welcome.

 

The last good plan to avoid the hall decorations was inspired by Darwin’s concept of “survival of the fittest”.

 

A small group of students wanted to dress up as fish to adapt to the environment rather than flee it. Sadly, fins and gills are not dress code as a dean noted, and the students were snitched on accordingly.

 

Thanks to Student Council, no escape plans are necessary any longer. They took the ocean construction paper decorations down relatively quickly.

 

If the hall decorations had remained on the walls as long as the Sadies candy-themed ones (the sweets were attracting bears), then Clark would have become the new Wet-n-Wild over the summer, and the school would still be a puddle of “C”water by the time rain haters return to school next year.