Clockman. The power to control time. If that doesn’t sound appealing to you, you’re probably deaf. Just imagine being able to pause, play, rewind, fast forward, and relive your entire life seems like a pretty great ability.

 

If you’re hungry, you can just go back in time and enjoy your breakfast again. Book report due in three minutes? Freeze time and you’ll be able to procrastinate your heart out and finish your homework. Short on cash? Pause life and visit your nearest bank.

 

Editor’s Note: This is illegal.

 

Supernerd. Graduating middle school is a goal we all strive to complete in our lives. However, it’s a feat easier said than done. Only few have been blessed with the super power of infinite knowledge needed to overcome such a task.

 

But seriously. Having the ability to know absolutely everything that is everything? Finally being able to know which one came first: the chicken or the egg? Discovering the truth behind the “magic bullet” that killed JFK? Learning the secret to finally escaping the friendzone??? The possibilities are endless.

 

Sandman. No, not the useless villain from Spiderman 3. I mean the guy who controls sleep and dreams.

 

One of the biggest problems with teens nowadays is they all think they have insomnia. The reality is that they’re too busy tweeting about how annoying their parents are or Instagramming their Starbucks to allow their body to rest.

 

Nevertheless, the power to fall asleep at the snap of your fingers, or preferably the blink of your eyes, will be handy for your whole life, not to mention being able to wake up on time every day. And lucid dreaming every night? The things I would do in my sleep are borderline too inappropriate for this website.

 

Stevie Wonder. Many see (hah) being blind as a disability or a drawback. Same with being deaf. But if you could control when you want to be blind or deaf, it can prove to be a pretty useful asset.

 

Place yourself in these scenarios. You’ve just started watching the popular AMC show Breaking Bad months after its finale. First of all, what is wrong with you? That show is fantastic. What took you so long?

 

You’re still on season two, but decide to take a break from your marathon by scrolling down your Tumblr dashboard when suddenly, a wild spoiler appears! At this point you have two options: Find and murder those responsible for the spoiler, or just turn your eyes off. No, you can’t just look away. Humans have yet to harness the technology required to do so.

 

Now you’re sitting in one of your pointless classes that you only took for the credit. You were up all night doing more urgent things like watching paint dry and now require a nap, but your teacher is so loud and rude. How dare he teach his class. Not a problem for you, however, because you were blessed with the ability to shut those eyes and ears off so you can enjoy silent bliss as you slip into your temporary coma.

 

Midas Touch. The hero our generation needs. The power to turn everything you touch into a decadent five course meal.

 

Just think about it. Ending world hunger, feeding hundreds of thousands of starving families, but most importantly, not having to get up to refill your bowl of cereal.

 

Not only can Mr. Midas make a buffet table out of a worn out pair of underwear, but practically anything in the name of justice can be created out of worthless junk. Hopefully he doesn’t join the dark side.

 

With this team of A-list do-gooders on our side, evil will be shaking in their boots.