Spring is just around the corner, and with it, the unbearable season of sweating. No one likes the feeling of swimming in their own shoes. Luckily, there’s multiple ways to work around it. Hot weather doesn’t always mean having to marinate in your own bodily fluids.

 

Wear lots of clothing. Absolutely cover yourself from head to toe. The way heat works is if the sun’s rays can’t touch you, neither can its fiery grasp. Wear big sweaters, combat boots, and beanies that’ll cover your entire head. This will ensure that your body is safeguarded in that cold bliss known as shade.

 

If fashion isn’t really your forte, don’t fret. Snuggies have always been cool, and they do just as good of a job with keeping you protected from those harmful rays of death. Or just stay indoors.

 

Fish are friends. Our very smart friends. They live in the water all day and all night. If you’ve ever played Pokemon, you’d know that water beats fire. These aquatic geniuses figured that out long before television or Gameboys were just an idea.

 

We need to follow in the footsteps of those who lived in Atlantis, and assimilate with our underwater brethren. The only real safe place from that red giant’s lava touch is at the bottom of the ocean. Water is just one of the best defenses against a hot summer morning.

 

Stay in your fridge. There really is no downside to this. Not only will you be at a relaxing temperature, but you’ll also be surrounded in all of the food your house has to offer. Assuming that your house does have food. And that your refrigerator is plugged in.

 

If you have any younger siblings, this doubles as a bunk bed. Just toss them in the freezer and you’re both good to go for the impending Vegas heat.

 

Fight fire with fire. Newton’s seventh law of Sun Science clearly states “The best way to combat heat is with more heat.” It doesn’t really, but it sounds like something he would say.

 

Set yourself on fire. You’ll be so hot, that by association, even a one hundred degree heat wave in the summer would feel like a cool breeze.

 

Understandably, this may seem a bit extreme to some. So if you’re looking for something a bit more reserved, try blowing the sun up. It’s still the same concept. Fighting fire with fire. Or rather, fighting the sun with big scary nukes.

 

Leave. If you can’t take the heat, get off of the planet. There are much colder ones just a few hundred million miles away. I hear Neptune is really nice this time of year.