This translates to money. As Christmas approaches, that wallet is losing more and more weight. Whilst having a boyfriend and girlfriend, there can only be two solutions. One, you craft something with your bare hands. But that’s a lot of work.

Only option left is to breakup with them.

Pretend like it never happened. Do not reply to any calls, texts, emails, snap chats, aim, Myspace instant messanger, twitter posts, facebook messages, notes, emails. Do not approach her. Do not speak of her ever. If any friends question what happened, deny everything. If she goes to your school, pretend she’s your mother reminding you to brush your teeth.  If she’s your part of your group for your science project, don’t write her name down as a member. This is the most heartless method and expect to get punished and beat by her bigger brother.

Buy the newest gaming console. Let’s face it; you only have enough money for one in the relationship. PlayBox, Wiistation, or PC master race, whatever you prefer, any of these fine gaming devices should suffice for a very long time. Just purchasing a gaming console will have you bound to your television playing the latest Grand Theft Auto. That game alone should be able to send your partner in massive rage that will eventually make them break up with you. Consider the new gaming consoles that have just been released. Who needs a girlfriend when you have the Xbox One? Equipped with the power of Kinect, everything can be done utilizing your voice. Sadly, the only downside with this is that Kinect cannot make you a sandwich on command like your girlfriend can.

Fake your death. This is the most drastic method and must only be deployed when all other plans have failed. This is a good chance to practice your creativity skills or your googling skills. I would suggest a death that isn’t in vain to give the appearance of a hero. You may use this example; while you were rescuing a neighbor’s cat you slipped and fell. It was just such a high tree that upon impact, your body explodes in a stew of blood and guts. It has to be a very tragic death that leaves your body unidentifiable. To complete the illusion, have a friend take a picture of some ground beef drenched in red food coloring.

Before even considering the fake death, make sure to have done the two previous methods. If your partner is too consistent and continues to stick with you despite the heartless attempts of neglect or death, then it is safe to say that your partner may possibly be the perfect partner; a partner who instead of getting mad that you are ignoring them, rather, understands that you need your space. Or a partner who instead of becoming enraged in your videogames rather becomes involved and plays videogames alongside you. This is someone you shouldn’t overlook. Even if you are dirt broke, it would be wiser to borrow a dollar from a friend and go to the nearest McDonald’s to buy her something from the dollar menu.