Even worse, sometimes they do not show up to class at all. Nothing is harder for teachers than students not interrupting class and reducing its size through their absence.
 
The deans have reinstituted the tardy sweep policy to end this devastating threat.
 
Dean Perry said, "We have consolidated the old tardy sweep process. Instead of sending tardy students to one of the many tables run by teachers, we now have one table where late students report."
 
The new system (making students wait at a table instead of going to class) may sound promising, and during the first week of tardy sweeps, the number of late students decreased daily from 129 to 35 students swept up before first period alone.
 
Still, there are some late students who manage to avoid the tardy dustpan. Deans Perry, Rahmani, and Barbeau are just not enough to stop tardy crime.
 
The deans need help tardy sweeping. Someone must protect the good, punctual chargers.
 
That someone is not Batman.
 
That someone is also not a concerned parent of a tardy student.
 
That someone is the deans' new supernatural sidekick from the planet Clorox, and his name is Tony the Tardy Broom.
 
The tardy broom sweeps along the floor yelling, "Brush to class or feel the bristles of detention!"
 
The powers of the tardy broom are in the dual-rowed, extra-fine bristle technology. Also, Tony has Mrs. Reagh's voice.
 
Mrs. Reagh, former dean and cross country coach, has the perfect yell to motivate students to run faster and to strike fear into the hearts of those who don't want to be head-locked.
 
Deans Perry and Rahmani agree that the tardy broom, equipped with Mrs. Reagh's voice, is much more menacing than Batman or a parent.
 
Planet Clorox has harnessed the bristles of justice and the versatile voice to create the almost perfect tool for tardy sweeping.
 
Dean Perry said, "Tony the Tardy Broom makes my day. If I could combine his powers with Mr. Rahmani, I would have the ultimate tardy-fighting tool."
 
Tardy brooms are in short supply, so Mr. Rahmani can have a tardy bucket for now.
 
Tony is more than just something for sweeping up dirty late students (or playing quidditch). He is an education broom.
 
Dean Perry said, "If a student gets to class on time, he or she will learn more."
 
True, justice and learning are served when already late students are shuttled to tardy tables instead of forced into class.
 
After all, according to Dean Rahmani, tardy sweeps are meant to teach students a life lesson about arriving on time. Dean's detentions and RPCs are scientifically proven to be more effective than lecturing students about the real world.
 
However talented he may be, Tony the Tardy Broom is more of a last resort for the deans. Surprisingly, they would rather have teachers help catch late students than a broom that sounds like Mrs. Reagh.
 
Dean Perry said, "I would like the teachers to stand by their doors, encouraging students to get to class on time."
 
Unfortunately, optimism and having teachers yell "Run Faster!" have not cleansed Clark of tardy filth.
 
All the same, the deans encourage civic participation from teachers to enforce tardy sweeps.
 
If all else fails though, tardy brooms can be bought from Planet Clorox for $19.99. Shipping and handling is not included.